My Heart Rate Betrayed Me

fighting to fill lungs

deeper and deeper

but it still doesn’t touch the sides

pulsing too fast

it’s making an escape

from the prison of my body

 

if i talk to myself

on the walk to scotmid

surely that man will think i’m crazy

do you care much

what the street thinks?

do you care what the doorway

whispers to your aching bones

just pull your ribs aside

and let it out

we all need to take a break

from our insanity

 

the kitten slowed my heart rate

but was it’s biting of my hand

playful

or just another form of self harm?

i can breathe deeply enough

to slow the blood

to slow the voice

to slow the panic

 

when the cat stops purring

my heart may betray me once again.

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